The Core Mepsi Range

 

 Mepsi is a leading manufacturer of minerals, mineral by-products, and drink-flavored liquids.

Now with 50% less asbestos!

Now with 50% less asbestos!

That smooth taste, smooth texture, and – since the lawsuit - smooth can.

That smooth taste, smooth texture, and – since the lawsuit - smooth can.

It’s a party in your mouth, and someone’s called the police!

It’s a party in your mouth, and someone’s called the police!

Described by the Food Standards Agency as “technically a drink”.

Described by the Food Standards Agency as “technically a drink”.

 

All of our Mepsi flavors are made with delicious and ‘nutritious’ Mepsinite – the least radioactive of the four forbidden elements. Using our patented tool for blending, you can rely on the smooth, smooth, mildly addictive taste.

We are legally obliged to mention that all of the fine liquid stallions in our stable are clinically proven to be habit-forming. Mepsi Soda should not be consumed by anyone with a family history of asthma, heart disease, or death.

 

 Suggest-A-Flavor Competition

Thanks to the inexorable march of time, it’s somehow (again) our annual “suggest-a-flavor” competition. This year’s finalists include:

Mepsi Spreadable
In a handy tube for keeping in your fridge, glovebox, or first aid kit.

Mepsi Danger
One in every 47 cans contains a powerful sedative.

 

Mepsi Pinecones and Ashtrays
A thoroughly confusing mixture.

Mepsi Non-Biological
Removes even tough stains.